I woke up this morning in a bad mood. Literally how. Literally I just woke up.
The first thing I do is check Instagram. I don’t know why I do. So I delete the app again. Then I walk into the bathroom and brush my teeth. I examine my gums. Looks like my bottom gums are swollen. So I floss for a little bit. I stare at my reflection. My eyebrows need to be plucked.
I drag my feet to the kitchen. I don’t really have an appetite but I don’t know what else to do. I look inside my fridge. Nothing looks good.
I sit on my couch. I sigh. I shouldn’t be complaining. There are homeless people literally down the street. Why am I so annoyed right now? What the actual fuck?
It’s probably PMS. I pull out my phone and check my calendar.
It is PMS. But I also haven’t stretched in a few days. And there’s something else on my chest.
What is this feeling? How do I shake this feeling off? What do I do now?
Maybe if I stretch…
So I lay on the ground with my arms and legs outstretched. Then I imagine the ceiling fan above me falling.
What’s going on?
Are there even answers to any of my questions? Does there have to be a reason for everything? Does there have to be a reason I spilled coffee in my car three years ago?
Can something exist without purpose?
I need a hint. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
What is god/all/the collective unconscious/nature/the life force trying to tell me?
What should I be looking for?
Silence. Why do I not hear anything?
Okay. I’m just wasting my time. Fuck this meditation guru shit.
Shut. the. fuck. up. Banan.
God is telling me I need to make guac.
So I get up and I make guac. Extra lime too.
He/she/god/all/the collective unconscious/nature/the life force was right.
Guac makes everything better.
(p.s. That weird feeling was not for guac. It was to stop procrastinating and start getting shit done. Specifically this blog post right here.)